Becoming Clean

I am clean. I think that this time, I really made it. It has been 6 weeks, 3 days and about 4 hours. And I am not talking about clean eating, as long as people invent such heavenly things as twister fries I will never be clean in this regard.

No, my addiction is a solely female problem, occurring to young women aged 14 to 35. It is the only drug that promises clear skin, beautiful hair, weight loss and a pretty good protection of becoming pregnant. If you still don’t know what I am referring to than you are probably male or pretty lucky that you never got in touch with brith control pills.

I started taking them when I was about 14 years old, not because I had a boyfriend or I was intending to get one. I was suffering from occasional migraine attacks and my former gynaecologist figured that it was very likely that it was cause by hormonal changes and birth control pills would fix that. Spoiler alert – they did not.

For the next few years I did not waste a thought about it. I was young, naive, healthy and it never occurred my mind that an industry designed to help people and make their lives healthier would expose me to a risky products with unacceptable side effects only for the sake of economical success. Little did I know. Birth control pills are introduced as a lifestyle product with the promise of female sexual self-determination and a quick and simple solution to get rid of menstrual complaints. In fact, modern “lifestyle” birth control pills from the large pharmacutical companies such as Bayer have dangerous and severe side effects.

I remember watching a documentary in 2015 that had the title “Terminally Ill through birth control”. It describes the immense success of birth control pills and the sad damages resulting from it. Bayer alone already earned a startling 9 billion dollars with its bestsellers Yaz, Yasminelle and Yasmin (they might have different names in your country, eventhough it is the same product). Big business indeed and most likely the reason that Bayer does not acknowledges the alarming results of studies conducted the most renowned experts on severe side effects such as lung embolism, thrombosis and in the most dramatic cases death.

What is not a part of that documentary and that has been part of the discussions I had with female friends in the same situation, is the psychological side of it. Depression, tiredness, eating disorders or ravenous appetite, a general lack of drive and depending on the individual case many more. And talking about female sexuality: Girls growing up and exploring their sexuality under the influence of such a product will never truly be able to live it as they never experienced an ovulation and don’t know how their body would work in a natural way.

Lucky enough I never had any physical side effects – expect that I still have migraine attacks but hey it really could be worse. But admittedly I often felt tired, without a sense of enjoying life, not really depressive but imbalanced, somehow not really in the moment. Looking back and asking myself how I never noted that and why I did not actively changed something and why I have even defended myself taking it,  I think that it was just so convenient. A weak menstruation that you could even shift if you felt like it, birth control, perfect skin and all that only in a little pink pill.

6 weeks later (sounds like a horror movie) I feel more awake, more relaxed and definitely with more energy. I started to get impure skin, but that is all part of the process to a natural body feeling and I try to embrace it the best I can. I have tortured my body for over a decade and I am very excited how I will feel if its starts functioning as it was designed. If you read this and you are in-between 13 and 17 and haven’t started taking birth control than please don’t! I know it is tempting and other things seem more important that some vague side effects that may not even affect you. But you should never put your physical or psychological well-being at risk just for taking the convenient way.

Oh and by the way, I still dream of twister fries. Seems like that has always been a part of me.



1 Comment

  • Well written Aline????
    I have never known this????
    But thinking about it, it sounds logical what you write????
    And it is a topic lots of people would not dare to write about, so I am proud of you that you dared and did????

    Your Dutch friend

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