Fuck(!)Boy

At first, a little introductory remark – the term fuckboy is not related to age, race, education, relationship status or income level. Those interesting creatures can be found almost anywhere. You could compare them to the flu: Easy to catch, pretty annoying to mess around with and relatively hard to get rid of. 

And yes, that this is sexist. Lol. Take that! But talking about men cheating and lying their way though life – what is the main ingredient they do need for that? Right, women! And chances are not too bad, that quite a few of them are doing the very same thing as their male colleagues.

But nevertheless countless studies have scientifically proven, that men do cheat more regularly than women. There are studies suggesting than men tend to cheat shortly before round birthdays, that women are more likely to cheat if they feel neglected in their relationships and that men are more likely to cheat on their women, if they are the bread-winner of the family. There even is a study published by the American Society of Microbiology, than men as well as male scientific researchers tend to cheat more often during studies.

Reasons are diverse: Boredom, insecurity, hidden fantasies, the wish to “man up“, the illusion of variety, immaturity, wish for revenge, emotional distance, ego, a feeling of being above the law, the urge to climb up the social latter or some of that combined in a nice comprehensive package – the fuckboy.

A fuckboy is the modern version of a womanizer, somebody engaging in short-term sexual relationships without the intention or capability of having a real relationship. Or more casual – they want the advantages of having a girlfriend without taking the responsibility for what comes along with that.

To define this term is not easy, it has been around for decades, and found its origin in US prisons, where a fuckboy is referred to a man having sex for payment. But the exact definition does not really matter and I am sure you all get the vibe or had the pleasure to experience it first-hand.

Signs that you are dealing with this type of gentleman? He is claiming that he does not like to put a label on things and therefore cannot commit to a relationship. He prefers to not meet you in public or at least not at places where he could meet his real friends (which you will never meet), he is constantly texting, his ex-girlfriends are “crazy“, he only invites you over to his place and worse, he is the kind of person that makes judgmental comments on your appearance or outfit and generally feels comfortable judging others. 

Once you have figured out that you are dealing with a fuckboy there are only three options. First- stay, enjoy your time and be grateful for the nice moments you share.  Second and also very popular – stay, think that you might change him, that it might be different with you aaannnd…. spoiler alert, get disappointed. Third – run!

One characteristic of a fuckboy is being emotionally unavailable, maybe even cold. But isn’t it the case that most of us have to admit that we want to hear beautiful promises, but we are all too caught up in our own life to really invest time and effort into somebody else? Personally I have mastered the subtle art of not giving a f**k and I really have a hard time to work up any enthusiasm when I meet somebody new.

And frankly speaking to open up ones emotion is always a risk. It hurts a lot more, if you have decided to not keep it casual.  But at the same time we have been conditioned to think that we deserve love. I have the most amazing, beautiful and intelligent single girlfriends, who cannot seem to find a partner. Somehow everybody is on the look for love  without ever intending to make a commitment. But you cannot demand something that is not in demand.

But as I always was and always will be a hopeless romantic I would like to close this blog entry with a beautiful quote that would also look good in your insta story….

Humans were originally created with two heads, four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half. 

1 Comment

  • Dear Aline,
    I love it that you use your blog again and your writing is really fantastic 👍
    I hope you have not experienced such thing as “fuckboys” and got hurt🙏🏻
    Keep on writing, keep on being you👍🤗

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