I think I have always been a delicate soul, truly caring about everyone around me. I was addicted to harmony, I could not fall asleep knowing that someone was mad at me. Conflict has been deeply troubling for me. I spent a remarkable amount of time and energy to please others. I wanted to meet the expectations people had, regardless of their nature or whether they even were entitled to have expectations. From my point of view, that was and is often a female issue, related to the way girls are socialised. But that is a different story.
And after a few pretty exhausting years of trying to be the perfect girlfriend, a caring daughter, a loyal friend and generally a well-balanced, presentable, successful, easy going, cheerful individual, I realised that no matter how hard I try, I will never ever be able to please everybody around me.
And for the sake of my peace of mind, I decided that it is about time to master the art of not giving a fuck.
That sounds very negative, but actually it is very liberating and guess what? Nothing really happened. Well, the number of people that won’t invite me to their weddings has increased, but the number of moments where I am just fed up with everything have remarkably decreased.
It is an irrevocable truth, that everyone only has a limited number of fuck’s to give. As a human being, you only have limited emotional and time resources and you cannot cater to everyone and worry about everybody. And that already is the most important learning: You have to identify and then focus on your main fuck’s given areas as you cannot endlessly diversify your portfolio of main interest areas. In my very personal case, I have a very limited number of people in my inner circle and I have learned to not waste a thought about anyone excluded from that group. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you should turn indifferent. I am very empathic, but I blend out all the opinions, judgments and expectations.
And yes, people will always judge you. And a fair amount will not like you. But anyway, there is nothing you can do about that. So don’t let those thoughts cost you any sleep. Once you have overcome the belief that certain things are simply expected from you, you will have the liberating opportunity to mind your own business and do what really makes you happy. And minding your own business goes beyond. You have only truly mastered the noble art of not giving a fuck, once you genuinely don’t care what your spectators think of what you have chosen to do. I stopped bothering about all sorts of ex-boyfriends, ex-friends or whatever exes I had, I had people judging on my looks and body for quite a few years now and luckily I never really cared. My life is a drama free zone. I try to not judge about others and I am surely not interested in their judgment. I refuse boundaries, I no longer care what I am expected to do or what I can or cannot wear, say, think, post…… Don’t let anyone dictate which behaviour allegedly fits your character, don’t let them tell you how to structure your life now or in the next ten years and don’t drown in the unspoken laws society imposes on you.
And most important. Change the perception of the quality of your life. I am very much blessed in many regards and once I successfully locked out all the negativity I am now even more grateful then ever.
If you also want to walk along the path of virtues, I would recommend to google the godfather of zero fucks given, Mr. Mark Manson, who wrote timeless masterpieces like “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty” or “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.
You did not like this post? Guess, who doesn’t give a fuck? :)))